Advice to myself

It feels like a slap, making your cheeks burn. Followed by a spit. A warm, thick spit full of disdain, right in the middle of your face. When the best you have to offer is returned to you, no explanation granted. Aknowledged mistakes didn't teach you anything at all in the end. Don't hold on to anyone, don't try, don't run. Persisting is not what will keep you from harm, it only twists and turns everything you thought was there, everything you thought possible, and transforms it into a worthless muddy handful of pity and disgust, aimed and shot right at you. You run, you lose. Well, it all depends on where you're running to. Run away and you'll be surely followed. It's every man ( and woman ) for him(her)self. Laugh, forget, play. That's what you know it takes to be on the winning side. I'd like to be the one on that side for once, to see what there is to win after all, or if there is anything to win at all...
'Till then, wipe your nose and tighten your belt, as they say...